she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
