After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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