respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
