playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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