Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
