from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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