there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
