so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
