i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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