I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
