We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
