Reggie can tackle my bush.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
