Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
