dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
