grandma shit on top of the toilet
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
