Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
