The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
