dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
