butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
