home. puking in laundry basket.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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