Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
