she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
