$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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