With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
