sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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