Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
