sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
