just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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