who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
