First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
