It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
