I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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