I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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