I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
