Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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