You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize
