: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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