Please, let me fuck your mom
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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