Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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