It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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