nut hugger
i think i have two assholes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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