she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
