Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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