Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my shit smells like andre
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
