oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
