Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
