were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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