btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
