I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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