STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
